Forgiving Vesuvius

Things have been stressful for us this year.  2018 greeted us with so much joy! My husband Scott had landed his ultimate dream job.  We moved to Bakersfield, California for this opportunity.  I had found a great job with wonderful people.  We put a down payment on a new house.  We thought we were on top of the world!  It felt like we were on a highest mountaintop, seeing our future happily spread out for miles and miles.  What we didn’t see was that this mountain was actually a rumbling volcano, and it was about to erupt.

Turns out the company Scott went to work for has a large customer who took offense that they weren’t included in the candidate selection process. They even threatened to pull all of their business – and just like that – Our own personal Vesuvius erupted; sucking us into a vortex of corporate politics, the end result being Scott suddenly losing his great job, (but thankfully not his salary, as the company he went to work for agreed to keep paying him for the rest of the year) our dreams flash frozen into the ensuing volcanic ash.  So many emotions: shock and confusion; disbelief that someone could be so cruel to a complete stranger.  Then anger.  Anger towards those who caused this.  Thank God for my anchor.  It kept me from drowning in a whirlpool of anger.

So back to Phoenix – to reboot our lives. But you can’t move on fully without forgiveness.  And here is where I started dragging against that anchor of mine.  How to forgive something that is seemingly unforgivable?  In theory, this should be simple.  Our Heavenly Father forgives us our many sins. Why was this so hard?  The person that caused this to happen likely hasn’t given Scott a second thought. It meant nothing. It was just business for him.  He has no idea of the pain he caused me.  In fact, he doesn’t even know I exist.  That I have lost 3 jobs now, due to all the moving we’ve had (and still have) to do, not to mention the emotional toll this took on both of us. Matthew 18:21-22 says: “Then Peter came to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?  Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but until seventy times seven.” 

That’s 490 times! I’m not a person who typically holds a grudge, but this was beyond the pale.  Have I succeeded in forgiving this man? I’d be lying if I said I have.  But I am working on it.  During my anger phase I concocted revenge schemes in my head that  would make even the Count of Monte Cristo blush. Or at least make a great thriller novel. (insert idea lightbulb) (I have a vivid imagination…) Romans 12:19-21 says: “Dearly Beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him a drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.  Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” I think this is where the “kill them with kindness” saying came from.  So I will forgive him.  Eventually.  I think it was Joyce Meyer that once said “Hurting People Hurt People.” That really spoke to me on a deep level.  Meaning people who hurt others are really hurting inside themselves.  When I think about it that way, it makes it a little bit easier.  Not that it excuses bad behavior, but maybe it gets me a little closer to where I need to be, knowing that. But, while this was awful, there are other people who have things way worse.  So I have to be thankful for what we do have! We are blessed with so many things, great supportive family and friends who have been such a blessing to us, especially now!

Fast Forward 7 months: Scott found a job! A recruiter told me that the average time it takes an executive to get a job is between 1 year and 18 months.  It took Scott only 7 months, so I know that it was an answer to prayer. So while one door slammed shut, another has opened – So now we are packing up my anchor and are heading to the state of Texas to see what is in store for us on this leg of the journey. We leave in the morning.  Onward!

Patti xo